Jadurani Devi Dasi
Haridasa violated the strict rules of the renounced order of life,
and thus Lord Caitanya banned him from His association. After a year
of torment in separation from the Lord, Junior Haridasa conclusively
decided to attain shelter at His lotus feet. Thus he entered deep
into the water at Triveni, the confluence of the Ganges and Yamuna at
Prayaga, and in this way gave up his life. Immediately after
committing suicide in this way, he went in his spiritual body to Lord
Caitanya and received His mercy. But he still remained invisible. In
a spiritual body resembling a Gandharva's Junior Haridasa, although
invisible, would sing at night for Lord Caitanya to hear. No one but
the Lord knew of this.
One day Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu inquired
from the devotees,
"Where is Haridasa? Now you may
bring him here."
The devotees all replied,
"One night at the end of a full
year, Junior Haridasa got up and went away. No one knows where he
While hearing this, Lord Caitanya mildly
smiled. Thus all the devotees were very astonished.
One day Jagadananda, Svarupa Damodara,
Govinda, Kasisvara, Sankara, Damodara, and Mukunda all went to bathe
in the sea. They could hear Haridasa singing from a distant place as
if calling them in his original voice. No one could see him, but they
could hear him singing in a sweet voice. Govinda and some of the
other devotees then made this guess:
"Haridasa must have committed
suicide by drinking poison, and because of this sinful act he has
now become a brahmana ghost. We cannot see his material
form, but we still hear his sweet singing. Therefore he must have
become a ghost."
Svarupa Damodara, however,
"This guess is wrong. Junior
Haridas chanted the Hare Krsna mantra throughout his
entire life and served the Supreme Lord, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu.
Moreover, he is dear to the Lord. Therefore he must have died in a
holy place. Haridasa cannot have been degraded; he must have
attained liberation. This is a pastime of Sri Caitanya
Mahaprabhu's. You will all understand it later."